Random Thought #1: I was talking to my Dad on skype the other day. My nieces are staying with my parents for the week to go to camp. The other morning, on the way to camp, my Dad was praying with them. He started by thanking God for the weather, for their health, for the girls going to camp, and so on. Then Ellie (8) prayed, "Thank You Jesus for dying on the cross for our sins." Dad said that after that he felt like such a jerk. Here he is a pastor and missionary and praying simple prayers because he thought that's all they would recognize. But then his grandaughter prayed, thanking God for His atonement. Kids are amazing. No wonder Jesus tells us to have "faith like a child."
Random Thought #2: Yesterday I was working in my office at school. One of my students, whose mother works in the office, came to see me. He said he was bored sitting in his mom's office, so he thought he would come see if I needed any help with anything. I had him help me move all of my Physics lab equipment from one classroom to another. We got to talking about our summer and other random topics. Then we started to talk about dating, relationships, and what we believe God intended marriages to look like. We came to the conclusion that no matter what, we have to always trust the Lord in everything and pray about all things in our lives. After our conversation he said, "This is what is different about our school." I said, "What?" He said, "That we can talk to our teachers about stuff." I thought about it. He's right. Our school is special because the kids can feel safe to talk to their teachers about all kinds of matters, and they know their teachers will be real with them. I'm very thankful for that. This is one of the reasons why I love my job.
Random Thought #3: In my quiet time this morning, I was reading about Miriam (Moses' sister) and how she had that moment when she questioned Moses' authority and ability to lead the Israelites. In doing so, she was also questioning and undermining God's authority because God was the One who had placed Moses in that position. It caused me to reflect on myself. I am very much like Miriam. I often question those in authority over me and have a hard time submitting to them. But I realized this morning that when I do that, I am also undermining God's authority and I am ultimately not trusting in His sovereign plan. God is the One who has allowed for those different individuals to be in leadership over me and I have to respect and obey them. This doesn't mean I have to agree with decisions they may make, but I need to submit to their authority anyways. They will have to answer to God for the decisions they have made while in leadership, and I will have to answer to God for my attitude and the way I have responded towards them.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Caution: I'm on a Rampage
Lord, help me to be cautious with whatever I say next. Amen.
I just finished reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Wow! Can I say "convicted"? I am convicted of my current life and what I'm doing, or what I'm not doing. I'm turning 30 this year and what do I have to show for it? If God were to ask me "What have you done with what I have given you?", what would I say? I have the desire to obey and follow the Lord, but I realize I only do it half-heartedly. What's with that?! God didn't give His only Son, to die on the cross for my sins, half-heartedly. My life is but a vapor on this earth. In the grand scheme of things, my life is here and gone in no time. And what am I doing with it? How am I making a difference? What impact am I leaving behind? How am I leading people to Christ? How am I even showing Christ to others? How am I loving others, including my enemies? How am I serving others? How am I making myself smaller so that He can be greater?
Sure, my title right now is "missionary teacher in Nairobi, Kenya." But, if you were to see my life here, it's not much of a sacrifice. I'm currently staying in a really nice home, using a car, have a salary that provides for my needs here, have running water, have electricity, have house help, have lots of clothes, have a computer, have lots of shoes, have my own office at work, and so on. People in America tend to have a misconception of "Africa." They tend to automatically think that all of Africa is in the bush or desert and people live in huts with no running water or electricity. This is wrong! Sure, there are lots of places in Africa that are like that, and there are some areas that are more difficult than others to live in. But, let me set the record straight for Nairobi, Kenya (since I have not been to other parts of Africa, I can only say for this part). The areas that white people live in are not difficult. We have everything we need and more here. Yes, driving is crazier than it is in the US and there is not the wonderful world of convenience like in America, but the only thing we truly sacrifice by being here is being with our family and friends back in the States (in fact this past summer when I was home, I saw more family than I did when I used to live there). Last year I played the victim by using the phrase "missionary in Africa," and I was incredibly wrong to do that. For that, I am sorry. I am not a victim of anything. I live very comfortably here. I have never wanted to live long term in America due to fear of becoming too comfortable. I know myself. If I lived in the States I believe I would simply rationalize my life and say that my ministry is just to be nice to people and show them God's love in my everyday walk. But there are plenty of nice people out there that are loving, but not Christians. So how is someone to tell me apart from them? Evangelism is not one of my spiritual gifts, but I'm still commanded to evangelize to the unsaved. Am I doing that? No. The thing that I realize by living in Nairobi is that I can get just as comfortable here as I would be in the States. So something has to change in me, not where I live.
How am I furthering the Kingdom of God? I currently teach rich kids who have no clue as to how blessed they are when there is plenty of poverty surrounding us. Am I showing them what God's love really looks like? They just see me as the typical white person who comes to Africa in the name of “missions.” They wonder, “How long is she going to last? How long before she leaves like others who left because life in Africa seems too hard?” I'm tired of being like everyone else. How am I going to make a difference in the lives of others in this next year?
I just finished reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Wow! Can I say "convicted"? I am convicted of my current life and what I'm doing, or what I'm not doing. I'm turning 30 this year and what do I have to show for it? If God were to ask me "What have you done with what I have given you?", what would I say? I have the desire to obey and follow the Lord, but I realize I only do it half-heartedly. What's with that?! God didn't give His only Son, to die on the cross for my sins, half-heartedly. My life is but a vapor on this earth. In the grand scheme of things, my life is here and gone in no time. And what am I doing with it? How am I making a difference? What impact am I leaving behind? How am I leading people to Christ? How am I even showing Christ to others? How am I loving others, including my enemies? How am I serving others? How am I making myself smaller so that He can be greater?
Sure, my title right now is "missionary teacher in Nairobi, Kenya." But, if you were to see my life here, it's not much of a sacrifice. I'm currently staying in a really nice home, using a car, have a salary that provides for my needs here, have running water, have electricity, have house help, have lots of clothes, have a computer, have lots of shoes, have my own office at work, and so on. People in America tend to have a misconception of "Africa." They tend to automatically think that all of Africa is in the bush or desert and people live in huts with no running water or electricity. This is wrong! Sure, there are lots of places in Africa that are like that, and there are some areas that are more difficult than others to live in. But, let me set the record straight for Nairobi, Kenya (since I have not been to other parts of Africa, I can only say for this part). The areas that white people live in are not difficult. We have everything we need and more here. Yes, driving is crazier than it is in the US and there is not the wonderful world of convenience like in America, but the only thing we truly sacrifice by being here is being with our family and friends back in the States (in fact this past summer when I was home, I saw more family than I did when I used to live there). Last year I played the victim by using the phrase "missionary in Africa," and I was incredibly wrong to do that. For that, I am sorry. I am not a victim of anything. I live very comfortably here. I have never wanted to live long term in America due to fear of becoming too comfortable. I know myself. If I lived in the States I believe I would simply rationalize my life and say that my ministry is just to be nice to people and show them God's love in my everyday walk. But there are plenty of nice people out there that are loving, but not Christians. So how is someone to tell me apart from them? Evangelism is not one of my spiritual gifts, but I'm still commanded to evangelize to the unsaved. Am I doing that? No. The thing that I realize by living in Nairobi is that I can get just as comfortable here as I would be in the States. So something has to change in me, not where I live.
How am I furthering the Kingdom of God? I currently teach rich kids who have no clue as to how blessed they are when there is plenty of poverty surrounding us. Am I showing them what God's love really looks like? They just see me as the typical white person who comes to Africa in the name of “missions.” They wonder, “How long is she going to last? How long before she leaves like others who left because life in Africa seems too hard?” I'm tired of being like everyone else. How am I going to make a difference in the lives of others in this next year?
Here are some examples of people I know who have made a difference:
- Rayder Hawkins- missionary in Brazil for as long as I can remember; most exciting, exuberant man I have ever met who is clearly in love with the Lord; was heavily involved in his ministry all the way until he passed away in his 80's.
- Tommy Skipper- missionary with us in Spain when I was a child; also extremely exciting and joyful man who deeply loves the Lord; currently evangelizes to prisoners in Oregon while in his 70's.
- My parents- working on starting their 4th church while in their 60's.
- Vickie Kairo- my friend, a local Kenyan, who is in her mid-20's and working with prisoners in Nairobi; she teaches them, clothes them, and gives them her time.
- The Kittrell's- when retired, left the comforts of the USA to become missionaries in Turkey.
These are just a few people who stand out to me. Sure, there are many, many more. None of these people get paid for what they do. They simply trust God and He has never failed to provide for their needs and bless them. What do they have in common? They are all joyful people, they all love the Lord, they all love others. And the majority of them have continued to serve the Lord even in their elder years. That's the kind of person I want to be; the kind that when you are dead and gone, you have left an imprint on someone's life and God has used you to spur them on to greater things.
As Francis Chan says, “The world needs Christians who don't tolerate the complacency of their own lives. What will people say about your life in heaven? Will people speak of God's work and glory through you? And even more important, how will you answer the King when He says, 'What did you do with what I gave you?' What we do reverberates through the heavens and into eternity.”
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